Puppy Love

What day is today? Saturday..? June 24. Okay, it's not a "special" day for me, besides the fact that I am alive, healthy, and happy. That is incredibly special. 


To get to the point of this post though..I am laying down in bed at my parents' cottage up north in Michigan. It's 10:25pm and I'm ready for bed. But, I wanted to write this out and get a few things off of my mind. So here we go..


Last summer, I had a friend from college come up north with me. Just the two of us (in an Eminem voice). We've only hung out a few times before, like going to the bar during our last finals week in college. And one other time like a year after graduation, late at night at my house, very random and spontaneous, which opened the door to this weekend trip - oh, and she wasn't with her long-time boyfriend anymore.


Driving up, we jammed to 90s music, as we were both 90s kids, I think. Maybe she wasn't :$. But it was a blast. We got up there and had some drinks, played some Yahtzee. I got my butt kicked all night. Literally, my worst defeat ever. She was good, what can I say. Late into the morning, we finally went to bed and cuddled. It was just cool. I'm not sure how else to describe it. And this coolness lasted the entire weekend.


The following day, on Saturday, we went to the island and played Egyptian Rat Screw. Apparently she never lost in this game. Until I smoked her 5 games to 0. And that tally still stands to this day. After hours in the sun, we went out for a great dinner. After coming back, we laid down, in the middle of the floor, and I mean floor, like it is extremely uncomfortable, and managed to fall asleep to a movie.


Now, it gets passed cuddling a little bit, but really not that far. A couple kisses here and there, and the ocassional make-out session. It was still cool though. No pushiness or obligation to go any further. Just hanging out, laughing, joking, cuddling, and enjoyment. On Sunday, as I started to clean up and pack up, she started to help me. And was very effective. Not sure if she just wanted to go home, but it was really nice to have someone step up and assist myself.


After we got home and back to our own lives, we stayed in touch. But, we didn't really do anything to follow up. A couple weeks later, we had a college reunion with a bunch of our friends from our program. It was a dinner/hit the bar and club night. Now, I decided to make a move. I got a birthday cake to celebrate for her, which was actually the week prior. Better late than never, right? Well, I don't know about that..haha


I got a cake and told everyone attending that it would be a surprise. She doesn't really like surprises, but cmon. Live a little! The surprise worked out, although it was kind of awkward at first. We made it work and I picked up her tab for dinner. Now, it's time for the bar/club.


We all walk over together and start drinking. We started a partners pool tournament. But she didn't pick me. And when it came to the dance floor, she avoided me. She even flirted with random people at the bar. It was the strangest thing I've ever experienced. I don't even know what to think or say. With the alcohol involved, I was not a happy camper, to put it lightly. And it only gets weirder from here...


Since my mood was killed and it was getting late, about midnight, I was ready to go home. I rarely go out or stay up late. So, when I did my rounds to say goodbye, she all-of-a-sudden wanted me to stay. I told her no, I'm leaving. And she was hiding on to me like a stripper on a pole. Clearly, she was on a new level.


A part of me cared, and the other part didn't give a shit anymore. I left, but made sure that she had a way home and they would look out for her. So I go home. It's about 1am now, and I'm laying in bed about to pass out. I get some texts and a phone call from one buddy saying that she won't get in his car to go home. They went to eat somewhere and now she is in that angry, stubborn, drunk stage. So what do I do?


I literally got out of bed, got dressed again, got in my car, and drove 30 minutes to pick her up from this place. Call me crazy, but it worked. She got in my car and I started driving her home. I wasn't happy about it though, believe me. And she didn't understand why I came back for her. At that point, neither did I. To make an already long story short, I dropped her off on the other side of town and made it back home at 3am. Let everyone know she was okay and went to sleep. Next day, she texted me and I ignored her. I was upset. Understandably? Maybe not, maybe so


Basically, once I responded and we conversed shortly, she apologized and said that she couldn't get into anything serious. I understood but it still hurt. Now, it's like a year later, just being up north brings back those memories. Here is where my mind is though:


I may have had a great time that one weekend up north, but it was just puppy love in the end. There is nothing to take away from those memories, they cannot be tarnished by the events that followed because that just isn't fair. At the end of the day, puppy love is what it ended up being, and it is much too overrated. I won't lie to you and say that it isn't fun, but it may not be the best thing. 


In my mind, I want something that will last. I want to be able to have not just one, but two, three, five, ten weekends like that across several years of memories. That is valuable. That is a bond. That is something that you look back upon and look forward to for more. That's what I want